This is INN-CBN, welcome to the final episode of the Ultimate Surreality Contest if there ever was one – “Kaun Banega Obama”.
We have an interesting slate of finalists, but before I introduce them, a word from our sponsors – the manufacturers of “Fair and Lovely”.
(A Jingle is Played)
Interviewer: Obamaji aapke mulayam gaalon ka raaz kya hai
Obamaji: Maa ka doodh, Pita ka pyaar aur Fair & Lovely ka Saath, yeh hai mere chehre ke raaz
And now we return once again to the Ultimate Surreality Contest if there ever was one – Kaun Banega Obama, with your host Conscientiously Guilty Desai and hostess Politically Correct Ghosh
Conscientiously Guilty Desai:? Can we have our finalists introduced please, with political correctness of course.
Politically Correct Ghosh 
Our first finalist is from the southern state of Tamil Nadu. Joining us after a?very eventful?bash is birthday boy Muthuvel.
A spotlight flashes on the corner of the stage from which Muthuvel is brought in to make a grand entry
Conscientiously Guilty Desai:? So Muthuvel what was all that about
Muthuvel: I have a problem, whenever I am in front of TV Cameras, I start kicking and screaming, so I need to be carried around to keep things under control.
Politically Correct Ghosh: So Muthuvel tell us aap Obama kyon banana chhahte hain
Muthuvel: Hindi is like carrier food from the hotel and English is the food made by the cook according to one?s instruction, but Tamillanguage is like food cooked by mother who knows the family?s needs and preferences, and feeds them accordingly.?
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Now that was not very politically correct, Ghosh. So Muthuvel allow me to apologize for that Aryan insult to your Dravidian pride. Tell us why do you think you can be India’s Obama.
Muthuvel: I am young and audacious at 85, if you have any doubts you can ask and verify with not one but two of my wives.
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Thats impressive, ?gurudev !?
Now Politically Correct before you jump off your rocker, Muthuvel tell us what makes you better than the other finalists to be India’s Obama.
Muthuvel: I am the best to become India’s Obama because I was Obama before Obama was even born. I?had the audacity to?hope for change and change you can believe in back in the?60s. In case you havent noticed while others?promised change I actually delivered change. I blacked out Hindi from Tamil Nadu?for all practical purposes. What’s more I am even better than Obama. If Obama has the mainstream media in his pocket, I owned the mainstream media in Tamil Nadu, all in the family. The best Obama could come up with was to have his pastor goddamm America. I have damned God himself. So who better than me to become India’s Obama.
Politically Correct Ghosh:? Cant beat that, well Muthuvel thanks for joining us and all the best. Up next are Laloo Singh from Bihaar and Mulayam Parsad from OOpi.
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Lalooji Mulayamji aap dono saath saath ?
Laloo Singh & Mulayam Parsad in chorus: Yeh ham naya album launch kar rahe hai. “Hum bhi Obama”.
Politically Correct Ghosh:? Kya baat hai, to batayenge aap Obama banane layaak kyon hai, ek saath nahi, alag alag
Lalooo Singh: Mulayam bhaiyya, pehle aap
Mulayam Parsad: Nahi Laloo bhaiyya, pehle aap
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: aree bhaiyya is pehle aap mein Obama Express choot jayegi
Lalooo Singh: Ab Obama Express ki baat ho rahi hai to hum kahe dete hain ki hum Obama Number One kyon hai, angrezi mein. You see this Obama fellow keeps telling the nation’s capital is broken by insiders and only he can fix it because he is an outsider. Now you tell me Harvard, Stanford everyone agrees that Laloo is the biggest outsider of them all. I fixed all the broken tracks of the Indian Railways, jab ki hame Biziness ka ABC tak nahi aata. Ab batao kaun sabse bada Obama Number One hai.
Mulayam Parsad: hum bhi kucch bole yahaan ?
Lalooo Singh: Nahi, suno ek aur batayenge. This Obama fellow wants you to dream. Arre yeh kya sapna dikhayega, sapne to humne dekhe hain. Iske sapno mein to god ko dammn karte hain. Hamare sapne mein Shivji aate hain, batao koi comparison hai ? Aakrhi baat iske rally mein sirf log behosh ho jaate hain, arre hamare Bihar mein jab Laloo ki juloos nikalti hain to chaara khaate gai aur bhains bhi behosh ho jaate hain.
Mulayam Parsad: chal hat chaara chor, ab meri baari. To hum batayenge ki hum rishte mein Obama ke baap kyon lagte hain. Obama to abhi baccha hain, ghar ke liye zameen khareedna uski bas ki baat nahi hai, chor ucchkon ka saath chahiye. Humne ghar aur zameen muft mein bade badon ko di hai. Amar se puccho, Amitabh se puccho. Koi hai iss akhara mein Mulayam ka saamna karne layaak ?
Politically Correct Ghosh: Lalooji, Mulayamji bahut Khushi hui aap dono aaye. Apke naye album “hum bhi Obama” ke liye all the best. Moving our next contestant is Yuvraj Vinci.
Yuvraj Vinci makes a grand entry with an entourage of 5 in tow
Politically Correct Ghosh: So Yuvraj whats with this Vinci thing, I thought you were a Gandhi ?
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Now now, no politically incorrect questions of Yuvraj. Dont you see if Obama can go from Hussein Obama to only Obama to protect his identity so can Yuvraj. But tell me Yuvraj whats with this entourage, are they contesting too ?
Politically Correct Ghosh: Let me stop you right there before you start feeling guilty and mushy asking questions of Yuvraj. Cant you see they are his handlers. I am now beginning to doubt your loyalty to the dynasty ?? So Yuvraj dont take the trouble of answering any questions, we dont want to sully your chances of being crowned India’s Obama. So instead let me ask your courtiers, sycophants, mercenaries and clowns, why they think you should be crowned India’s Obama ?
Courtiers, Sycophants, Mercenaries and Clowns in chorus: amma de, haan de, tera munda bigada jaye, de de, haan de, tera munda bigada jaaye, amma de, amma de
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Well cant beat that, its decision time now in the Ultimate Surreality Contes if there ever was one “Kaun Banega Obama” and the Crown goes to…
Politically Correct Ghosh: wait, wait we are not done yet, we have a surprise and secret finalist
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: now who is this unheard of discreet finalist maintaining a sphinx like silence
Politically Correct Ghosh: You said, its Madam Sphinxlike Silencia who is out on bail after her rather unfair trial while she awaits sentencing.
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Hmmm but how she can match Obama’s eloquence with her sphinx like silence
Courtiers, Sycophants, Mercenaries and Clowns in chorus sing the “Sounds of Silence”:
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls”
And whispered in the sounds of silence
Politically Correct Ghosh: That does it for me, on that highnote I am declaring Sphinxlike Silencia India’s Obama
Yuvraj throws a juvenile temper tantrum: But amma ?
Sphinxlike Silencia breaks her sphinx like silence: ab to bade?ban jao Yuvraj ??
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: With this we draw the curtains on the Ultimate Surreality Contest, it all feels so surreal I am beginning to question if there really was a contest. But thats not for me to judge, so long folks thanks for tuning in………
Filed under: Fiction
datz a nice imagination, but was expecting a part when he invites a dummy ‘fanatic’ from the ‘communal’ gang, though he wont be allowed to talk in the show and the role-play will be done by Desai himself on his behalf.
btw Muthuvel has 3 official wives.
hey guys got this intresting blog on Rahul Gandhi Education.Enjoy…….
http://karsewak.blogspot.com/2008_02_01_archive.html
http://bp1.blogger.com/_O8dgmi58k-Y/R8aC_4yGkiI/AAAAAAAAACE/ha2FnsnhuZc/s1600-h/rahul1.jpg
Shouldnt it be kaun banega Bush, considering a slightly dim witted yuvraj of a failed dynasty supported by a league of highly questionable special interests, most likely to surpass his (grand)father in the amount of damage a single person can inflict on a country ?
Obama is supposed to be the manifestation of the hopes of a black subclass, well then shouldnt it be a ‘nationalist hindu’ because they are the defacto second class citizens in Nehruvian India.
Hi Yossarin
That was fantastic
So again it was nucli-yawn………drama
We want to take Left along on N-deal: Congress
http://www.rediff.com/news/2008/jun/20ndeal7.htm
From Morning our MSM Channel informing us from “Sources” that PM has threaten to resign.
Now at the end of the Day when Karat refused to play the ball then now our Times NOW has came with Breaking News” again from “Sources” and now confirmed by Congress that PM has NOT threatens to Resign.
So all Drama ends for today.
This DRAMA will be played again after 2 MONTHS so wait.
Yoss boss, that was awesome, however as Martian said, I was expecting the entry of some rabid-yindoo-fundamentalist who is ridiculed, mocked for taking proud in his heritage and hence disqualified from the contest!
Gujjuman
Seriously-This periodic nuclear drama played out in Delhi is now becoming nauseating
Dont go by the charade preperated by breathless TV Anchors and media drumbeaters on how ‘determined’ the PM is on go ahead with this deal and how ‘hurt’ he is by the insinuations and intransigence of left.The threat of resignation is nothing but empty rhetoric
Congress has lost all elections in the last 4 yrs(except the one’s staged by sponsored psephopologist in TV Studios ).DMK/RJD are electorally vulnerable .NCP cannot also gain substantially.Left is bound to lose few seats in its traditonal strongholds except Tripura
I think the political realist in Congress/UPA have pretty much read the situation well.The writing on the wall is clear.It will be a electoral catastrophe for UPA if it goes to poll now given the sykrocketing inflation..Even in the coming state elections,only MP holds the only hope for Congress with Raje turningaround the crisis to her advantage.Mayawati will bury the congress in UP
Saving formula will probably include stagemanaged Manmohan ‘resignation’ and CNN-IBN/NDTV televised drama of UPA allies/Industry/nation/aam admi rallying behding him and pleading him to stay on given that the alternative is ascendancy of evil,blood thirsty Yindoo Fascists
The deal has its merits but the unabashed manner in which the otherwise leftie left angrezi newschannel are pitching for the deal clearly throws question on whose bidding are they doing it
Its a different story that for its all its bravado BJP too is pretty dismally placed with UP being real cause for concern
Personally i think ’status quo’ might be best situation given that new election means another ragatag coalition with even more weakened national parties
Prasanna,
Hang on things are shaping up pretty nicely for NDA though it is too early to comment. Lets watch this through. at least 6-7 campaigns or rallies and we will be able to gauge the public sentiment.
Nepal arrests 3 pro-Tibet leaders, 700 exiles.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Nepal_arrests_3_pro-Tibet_leaders_700_exiles/articleshow/3149717.cms
So UPA has succefully managed to turn Nepal into a rogue Chinese agent.
Anyway, this is hilarious. Even after PM ‘threatens’ to resign over N-deal, Mr. Chinese Carrot remains adamant on his position. So PM backtracks that it wasn’t a ‘threatning’ (what a pussy!!).
Meanwhile actual China (not Bengal) raises fuel price for a whooping 18%.
@Guys….
Traitor DON Prakash Karat says that: PM IS QUARELY RESPONSIBLE OF THIS INFLATION
Mesays:
PRAKASH KARAT AND HIS COMMUNIST THUGS ARE SQUARELY RESPONSIBLE OF THE 401 ( AND STILL COUNTING) CHINESE INCURSIONS INTO OUR COUNTRY.
This N deal imbrilgo is nothing but an attempt by the Communists to deflect our attention from tehir yellow skinned masters machinations to grab our territory.
Guys….I support MMS not for his regime, but because he is a COMMITTED INDIAN…..
Lets not forget this, THE COMMUNISTS ARE THE BIGGEST INTERNAL THREAT TO THE UNION OF INDIA…THEY ARE BUNCH OF TRAITORS AND MUST BE DEALTH WITH AS ONE DEALS WITH TRAITORS……
DONT BELIEVE IN GOD….says Text Book of Kerala Governed by Communist .
http://www.dailypioneer.com/indexn12.asp?main_variable=front%5Fpage&file_name=story5%2Etxt&counter_img=5
Yossarin, in 1 word : fantastic.
May i add some more.
—
And immediately after announcing and anointing Sphinxlike Silencia the winner, there is commotion in the studio.
Conscientiously Guilty Desai: Who, who who is this (hides under his chair)
Politically Correct Ghosh: Please stop making noise and come and say what you want to.
A man with a scowling face and a howling voice accompanied by bunch of rag-tag men carrying red flags appears.
Man: We are the winners. We are always the winners.
Politically Correct Ghosh: OK, OK Please introduce yourself and tell us the reason you want to speak.
Man : I am Sitaaram Burden and we want to speak because we are always right but we are always Left behind.
Conscientiously Guilty Desai (Appears from the chair) : Ok Sitaaram Burden, we like your red flags and your tone.
And seeing that you are not alone,
please tell us why you want to take part in this contest?
Sitaaram Burden: This is a faasiwaadi contest. We will not allow any test. We are the best. We are the best.
Men start shouting : We are the best.We are the best.
Sphinxlike Silencia watching the mess : Inhe bhi bolne dijiye pleej.
Yuvraj Vinci : But amma, you are the winner, they are the whinners BOOHOOHOO
Sphinxlike Silencia: (Silence)
Lalooo Singh: Yeh jaroor kaamunal shaddyantra hai. Yeh Burden waale log bahut acche hain, yeh maara mari nahin kar sakte. Yeh jaroor kaamunal shaddyantra hai.
Mulayam Parsad: chal hat chaara chor, meri lines bol raha hai.
Muthuvel : Hindi, hindi, all hindi . All disqualified.
In a corner , Shivmohan Patil, the house staff, comes : Madam Sphinxlike Silencia ji, chaliye flight is waiting.
There is chaos.
A gentle electorally dysfunctional man Manraj Singhrises :Arre bhai yek kya ho raha hai. Mujhe bhi koi bataayega!
Screen comes down.
Here Here the Commie bastards are at it again….
“Cong running disinformation campaign”
http://www.timesnow.tv/Newsdtls.aspx?NewsID=10226
Actually, one rumor doing the rounds is that that China is doing all these incursions at this dleicate time (with its Olympic dreams coming up etc) to provoke a reaction frm India which they would then use as an excuse to vote against a full NSG clearance (note, NSG needs unanimous consent to clear any agreements).
Seems to me lots beneath the sea surface is moving. The deal will go thru, 1 way or another. Everybody seems to be acting in haste on that assumption.
Again Person Arrested for Madam G
Friends dont u think we must Protest.
Does Journalist has a Right to call Whole Community of Gujarat as “Blood Thirst Mongers”
and just see this news from the same paper in whose paper that Article got published about calling Gujarati and this Paper defending as their Right.
Will TOI duty is to Protest this young person arrested for saying something for Madam G.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Sonia_smear_campaign_One_more_held/articleshow/3152647.cms
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