The "Help Manmohan Sleep" Campaign

We always knew the Prime Minister was Teflon skinned, little did we know the moral fabric of his conscience was synthetic too.

It mutates to cause Insomnia once in a while when someone is branded Terrorist but more often than not it ensures Amnesia after Terrorism strikes.

The BJP today demanded the Center fix a timeframe for the investigation into last year’s Mumbai train bombings as it accused the government of making no worthwhile progress in the probe into the terror attack that left 187 people dead.  In his second letter to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on the Mumbai blasts since last month, senior party leader L K Advani accused his government of apathy in remembering the dead from the 2006 terror strikes on Mumbai’s local trains.

“Kindly contrast this apathy and silence on the part of the government of India with the manner in which the administration of the united states commemorated the first anniversary of 9/11,” he wrote.

Well Mr. Advani the letter is not likely to help, what the good Doctor needs is some help with his sleep. His insomnia is exacerbating his amnesia causing him to forget his own utterances in the immediate aftermath of the July 11th Mumbai Blasts. While the Prime Minister tosses and turns restlessly Offstumped has taken it upon itself to launch the “Help Manmohan Sleep” campaign.

So how can we “aam aadmi” help the Prime Minister sleep better. Well here is a collection of 10 ideas to help Manmohan sleep, feel free to add to this list and share it far and wide.

1. If you care enough about the Prime Minister’s health greet him with some Gandhigiri, send him a sleep well card

2. If you really care for him demonstrate that concern by shipping him some sleep medicine

3. If you are not a hypochondriac and are not into sleep medicines, despair not you can still help, call in to the local F.M. station and dedicate some bhule bisre geeth to lull him into slumber.

4. “Jaane kya baath hai, neend nahi aati hai badi lambi raath hai” should be a good one

5. “So gaya yeh jahaan, so gaya aasmaan” might be a bit too adolescent for him

but given the delinquent he has been this next one might do the trick too.

6. This good old one from Sholay should definitely do the trick if those lullabies don’t, especially if delivered in his Madam’s Voice

“So ja Manmohan warna Musharraf Aaa Jayega”

7. Well threats don’t always work even if it is his Madam delivering one, the Prime Minister may need some babying, you could ship him a white noise maker to shush him to sleep

8. Staying on the babying maybe its that colic acting up again, perhaps the granny across at Raisina Hill could help,

“Manmohan so nahi raha hai, use Woodward’s gripe water de do”

9. If you run into a somnambulating Manmohan on his way Down Under, don’t expect him to “Sleepwalk the talk”, just deliver him back to Race Course Road.

10. If nothing else perhaps we could persuade Time Magazine to do a cover story on you too, that should motivate you to sleep better.

So there you have it folks 10 ideas to help the Prime Minister sleep better. He has another 2 years to go in the office, he definitely cannot afford to go through them being sleep deprived.

The nation can afford the occasional insomnia on account of terror but not the perennial amnesia on acting on terror.

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